So last night my son was eating dinner when he said to me “Daddy my tummy hurts”. I wasn’t too sympathetic because he had asked to be excused twelve times in the 30 seconds prior to complaining of a belly ache.
I said “what’s wrong” and he replied “my belly hurts, I can only eat cookies”…. I’ve been in health care a long time and I’ve never heard of a medical condition treated with cookies but I’ve got to hand it to him it was a great comeback!
My son just turned four and he’s decided that he’s independent. I actually believe he may soon decide that he’s ready to move out of the house and get a job. I’m OK with some of his independence. He likes to dress himself and that’s great, he even gets his shoes on the right foot most of the time. He always puts the tag in the back when he puts his underwear on, sometimes they’re inside out but that’s no big deal.
Let me tell you what is a big deal. Early one Saturday morning my wife had a meeting so I was in charge. Our son woke up and I fixed him a glass of milk and turned on the TV so that I could get a run in on the treadmill. I finished my run and I could hear him in the kitchen which caused me to run from the basement to the kitchen to find out what he was doing. As I slid into the kitchen I found him sitting at the breakfast bar eating a pop tart.
This may sound innocent enough but there’s a lot more to the story. Somehow he managed to get an unopened box of pop tarts from a cabinet ABOVE the refrigerator, he opened the box and opened the cellophane wrapper containing the pop tarts. He then got into another cabinet that was secured with a CHILD PROOF LOCK. From that cabinet he got out the toaster. He PLUGGED the toaster into an electrical outlet. He INSERTED the pop tarts into the toaster and toasted them. He moved to another high cabinet and removed a BREAKABLE plate. He took the TOASTED pop tarts from the HOT toaster and placed them on the breakable plate. He CARRIED the breakable plate across the kitchen to the breakfast bar. He then climbed onto a bar height chair and began eating his freshly cooked pop tarts as if he had done it a hundred times.
As I entered the kitchen he looked up at me and said “Dad, do you want me to cook you a pop tart”….
Here’s the kicker! Sitting beside the toaster, keep in mind the toaster is plugged into a 120V electrical outlet, is a metal butter knife. I’m not sure what he did with the knife and I didn’t ask – I also didn’t take him up on the offer of a pop tart.